Sunday, April 29, 2007
lay-zee-ness.
okay today was a lazy day. i slept at like. 1030 last night. and woke at 9. then watched tv and went bk for breakfast (omg there's bk at white sands now =)) at 10 then played random com games till lunch, slept straight after lunch (stop calling me a pig already), woke at 5 and went to church, come back and eat dinner and watch some more tv. so i guess today really has been a rest day for me. i was acutally wide awake during the homily today, it was some priesthood promotion campaign cuz today's "good shepherd sunday" supposedly, and it's about praying for vocations and stuff. i wonder if it's a sign.. hurr.
vch prac was Awful. with a capital A. or maybe a capital W-F-U-L as well. i thought we'd actually manage to "rise up to the occasion" somehow. i should have known better. as i said, i used to belong to a choir that sounded awfully good.. now the good part is gone. and somehow i wonder whether it's partly my fault. i realise that at this point in time, i still don't know how far my responsibility as an SL stretches. do i have to know and be able to recognise every single voice in my section? i guess i do, to a certain extent. but as to hearing them during combined, am i expected to do that too? cuz sometimes standing third row really means you can't hear much at all. am i expected to know exactly what the problems are and the correct course of action i should take in order to solve them? perhaps the first part is expected, but if even mr toh can't find a solution, should i (we, rather) be expected to do what he can't, with our limited knowledge of vocal techniques and for some of us, our very limited experience as well? what does it mean to "work at the ground level"? if people are falling sick, am i supposed to know how to make them un-sick? am i supposed to feed all 16 or 17 them dequalinium every 3 hours? or video call them and ask them to drink water? okay that last line was perhaps a little too bitter. but really, i just need some direction sometimes. and maybe a little cooperation. cuz i know a lot of us SLs are frustrated by a seeming lack of enthusiasm by our members.
like cj for example. they're so much smaller but their dynamic range is so much larger, and you can actually feel some sort of musicality to their songs.. it isn't dead or cerebral or anything. and i really wonder how i'm supposed to ignite that kind of spark(le). especially with a week to go.
okay this is turning into an angst-emo-ridden thing. i shall stop.
stained with coffee at 9:23 PM
