Tuesday, October 31, 2006
black.
well thanks to an afternoon yesterday at sentosa i'm seriously seriously black now. and seems like everytime i see my relatives they comment on the same thing. to them i always look thinner, taller and blacker ><"
so let's see. what did we do. 11am supposed to meet. everyone except whao and i were late. which was expected. but we actually got to sentosa before 2, which was UNexpected. hurr. or maybe i was just being my over-exaggerating self. which was probably the case. sadly there were only like. 7 of us. before chinee and zf joined us at 3 plus, or about 4. what kind of "chorale" outing is that. anyway. had lunch at the food centre at harbourfront before leaving, and somehow or other i managed to eat from probably the most popular stall there. which was some fish soup thing. which was really really nice. okay.
ended up at siloso beach where we had volleyball (which we sucked at totally), frisbee, more volleyball, more frisbee, a dip or two in the sea, lost the volleyball in a coconut tree (hey that rhymes!), had more frisbee and then i had to leave for dinner with my cousin and her angmoh fiance. they managed to get the ball down after i finished showering though (i don't know how) and then they were back to volleyball as i was leaving. i realise that volleyball is seriously painful on the wrist and forearms. and we were "challenged" by this group of quite pro vballers quite early in the afternoon, but we managed to dissuade them from joining us. hurr. after which i think they spent most of the time looking at us and laughing away but NEVERmind.
left about 530, only managed to get onto the THIRD bus that was leaving sentosa (yes the queue was ridiculously long), met yikai and hannah and 2 other unknown people at harbourfront mrt. but that's not important. hurr. got semi-lost trying to find the restaurant, ended up walking the wrong way down Upper Cross Street. so was late. rarr.
dinner was okay. met the angmohs (there was her fiance, his sister and his nephew) and my aunt and uncle. which was where the taller, thinner, darker comment came. and my resolution to gain weight was un-tactfully spilled out by my mum, to which half the people at the table said they'd happily donate 10 kilos to me. food wasn't too bad, but not the best i've had in a chinese restaurant. and trying to stuff down all the leftovers which are happily pushed to me (everyone remembers that i want to gain weight and they want to lose weight) became quite a struggle. hurr. but hopefully i'm a little closer to my target weight now. haha.
i will so not bitch about that RUDE, INCONSIDERATE 12-YEAR OLD ANGMOH KID WHO SEEMED TO HAVE FLUSHED HIS MANNERS DOWN THE TOILET BOWL.yup. today was boring. first day of the holiday which i haven't done any sort of physical exercise. i feel fat. well no, actually. i just feel lazy and weak. nevermind. whee.
stained with coffee at 10:13 PM
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
i'll remember.
i'll remember what you wrote to me. that there are so many things in life worth smiling for. and if i smile a little more each day, i guess it'll hurt a little less.
you can't
build a house of leaves
and live like
it's an evergreen
it's just a season thing.
stained with coffee at 11:33 PM
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
selamat hari raya!
okay random choice of title.
anyway today was a pretty good day since lots of nice things happened. haha. mostly family stuff. went to eat at some dimsum restaurant in chinatown.. which was really really nice. the food and the atmosphere and everything. that's not to say it was quiet or had nice lighting or anything.. it was just very.. chinese in character i guess. bright, noisy, with servers running around pushing trays and random orders being shouted (sporadically) across the room. not to say it was like a coffee shop or anything, but it was really quite nice. well and the food was quite good too so yep ^^".
after that went to some small little dessert place further down the street. seems like chinatown (or at least the part that we went to anyway) has a character of its own, not like the rest of singapore.. maybe it's just a different side to singapore, away from all the towering skyscrapers and clean air-conditioned places. narrow lanes right next to the road, little shops selling interesting little trinkets and a surprisingly large number of tailors. it wasn't really a commercialised, fake chinatown we went to (or at least it seemed to me), although i suppose being a third-generation singaporean i have no idea what a "real" chinatown should look like.
thne went to borders! i've been wanting to go to borders for a long time but just didn't have the money to.. so it's nice when your parents bring you there and let you buy stuff using their money :P bought 3 books. seems like my taste in books have changed somewhat.. away from the entertaining but ultimately rather shallow fantasy and sci-fi to the more personal, human-relationship and real-world kind of stuff. i hope i'll be able to make them last.. i don't want to end up back there buying more books anytime soon. hurr.
finally went to island creamery! well it was supposed to be some coffee joint (which i might have enjoyed more? well not really) but it seems that the place closed down so we ended up there instead. haha. until today i still can't imagine my parents in a place like island creamery. well. had a slice of mudpie which was really really sweet. and of course my parents just had tea and coffee ><" sis had brownie. so we didn't actually try any of the interesting ice-creams there huh. then sent sis back to her hostel (which really looks like a condo in need of a paint job) and then came back.
okay that's like. summary of the day. tmr's mr toh's concert. haha. i wonder how it'll turn out to be like. for those not in the know, he's on life! again today. and so are jz and zf! haha. go and read. too bad they didn't get interviewed or anything.
stained with coffee at 6:45 PM
Monday, October 23, 2006
the road to daybreak.
well these couple of weeks have been quite a journey for me. i think i've realised just how much i still have to grow in my faith and in my relationship with God.
i think it really all started with a book i borrowed from jarrod, "the road to daybreak" by henri nouwen, a dutch catholic priest, which i've been reading. it's basically his journal which he wrote during a year's stay in a home for the mentally handicapped in france. so far i've managed to read about 30 pages i think.. it's really thought provoking. the events which he chooses to reflect on and the passages he ponders over have really pointed out to me certain areas of spiritual life which i've overlooked, or even rejected somehow. his book is really very open and sincere, and he speaks a lot about the challlenges which he faces with regards to his own spiritual life. his experiences really speak to me somehow i guess, and point out to me how much i've missed out. from the story of the wealthy man who rejected jesus (which incidentally was the gospel passage a couple of weeks back) to the sincere and innocent actions of the handicapped, they really showed me all about committment to God and to others, about poverty, and really about how hard it is to live for Him sometimes.
well in addition to that, father johnson's sermon yesterday also spoke about the same things, about how total committment to God and to the faith really demands much more than just what i've been doing so far. how many people look for a religion that is all about convenience and benefit but nothing about cost and sacrifice, and how sometimes i've viewed my faith as something like that as well. how it always seems so hard just to give a little more time to God, give a little more to charity, give a little more to others, instead of always asking what God can do for me.
i suppose i've also been a little too selfish, a little too judgemental, a little too proud, a little too full of myself, and thus unable to really live a full spiritual life. well. i guess knowing is one thing, and actually trying to change is another.
stained with coffee at 12:49 PM
Friday, October 13, 2006
i'll always think of you
take your records, take your freedom
take your memories, i don't need'em...
and take mine too. cuz it hurts too much to think of how we used to be. and i'm sick of jumping at shadows everyday. it was just like trying to hold on to the wind as it passed.
stained with coffee at 9:41 PM
response
well i must say, certain events of the past day have made me feel quite unhappy. well while i suppose i should be glad that my tagboard has actually been filled up so fast, and that people actually bother about what i have to say, i'm a little surprised at how personally some people are taking it. so just to clarify things,
i) i am making a general comment, not a personal attack on anyone. if what i said has greatly discomforted you, then i'm sorry, and you don't really have to continue reading if you really are so incensed by it.
ii) i acknowledge that there may be other viewpoints out there, and i do encourage people who feel disgruntled about the school or about anything at all to air their views. but perhaps one should think through what one wishes to say first, rather than letting emotions get the better of oneself.
iii) i do concede that my language may have been unintentionally harsh, because i suppose i did let my emotions get the better of me. however, should i be allowed to rephrase myself, i would still hold on to the same points of contention. and i suppose, so would you.
well in any case, i'm rather saddened by the fact that some people seem ready to beat me up just because of a few words. violence always seems to me (and i say generally) a rather unpleasant way to end conflicts of opinion. maybe there's a perceived need to hit someone to restore one's injured pride or just to feel good, i'm not sure.
oh and one other thing, please don't bring God into such matters. if you don't believe in Him, then fine, but DON'T brin Him in to insult or demean Him in any way.
stained with coffee at 12:47 AM
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
ouch.
pooh thanx to pe today my face has been ruined >.< well not really ruined larh. but i have quite a few scratches around my left eye thanx to a well placed ball to the face struck with some serious power. but oh well. some risks have to be taken i guess. haha.
um. spent quite a bit of time sleeping in school today, thanx to all the breaks, free periods etc. but the lessons i had were fun. we had some lesson on the history of the english language and england during lit.. which was quite enlightening and quite entertaining. since ms ng majored in it so yep. had quite some fun. physics was cool too.. mr raufie totally rawks lorh. he's like. my favourite lecturer so even though it was a proper lesson thing i actually um. enjoyed it. haha.
well on to some b*tching i guess.. which is so unmanly but well i have to say it. we had some survey today on the school and about how it's been.. and some people were really quite against whatever the school was and said it totally sucked and all.. well to those people i guess i just have to say it sure ain't the school's fault, it's yours. seriously. cuz if you just wanna play all day and expect the school just to promote you or to make you pass your tests and do your homework for you and basically be at your bloody beck and call for the whole damn year then i guess you're seriously in the wrong place, and you seriously have the wrong attitude. i mean, if you don't wanna put in your own effort, how can others help you at all? i'm sure i'm not the only weirdo happy with the school right. i guess the school can only give you so much, and you have to make it the rest of the way yourself. and if you can't have the discipline to understand that then well.. don't complain about everything else, cuz it really all boils down to you. okay that was a long rant. i don't know why i'm so affected actually. but oh well.
Keith Urban - You'll Think of MeI woke up early this morning around 4am
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been tryin' my best to get along
But that's OK
There's nothing left to say, but
Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me
I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been
So
Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me
Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight
I'll be over you
And on with my life
So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me
So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and all your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we got nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah
And you're gonna think of me
Oh someday baby, someday
saw the mv for this song on the trip to dubai i think.. haven't bothered to download it till now. but it's really quite nice. yep. that's all from me today. aside from the fact that i'm probably visiting my blog more than anyone else now cuz i just wanna stare at my beautiful layout :P
stained with coffee at 11:12 PM
go me!
okay i just finished my little template in 2 days. i love it i really really do ^.^ can't you totally tell!? okay i'm going a little crazy. must be the lack of sleep plus the sense of satisfaction getting to me. but i must say i'm really quite rusty at html. so um. quite a bit of the code was kinda ripped from xuehao's layout (whose creator i cannot find so i cannot link) and a little from jeanette's layout (see the thanks to area). it was quite like a refresher course for me or something. haha. all the old info flooding back in. i rmb how i used to spend quite a bit of time doing all that last time.. oh well. nice to know i can still do it (with some help of course ^.^).
everything these few days has been a blur.. i think in my sleep-deprived, computer-polluted, voice-dissolving haze i actually seem to miss out on a lot in life. missed bernard's birthday party, missed all the hours of piano practice i could have put in, missed prison break ep 3 (ARGH!), missed talking to quite a few people. but oh well. i guess after promos you kinda think "hey i have some time let's do stuff" but end up not doing much, just getting hooked onto the com (again) and not doing anything else.
screwed up op dry run today. i won't talk about it. well actually i'll mention a little larh i guess. i thought the nervousness would have gone away alr, considering all the time i've been on the stage with the choir and stuff. but it's different when you don't have other people standing around you and you aren't prepared at all. so maybe i should really take a little time to practice instead of thinking "i can do it" just because i've done it so many times before in the past. well i was usually pretty nervous during those sec school presentations but i did seem to manage to keep it under control.. maybe it was just the lack of sleep. oh well.
okay i would like to blog but it's really getting late. so i should really turn in. ciao! sorry if all of you readers (like how many can there be, pls) missed me :P
stained with coffee at 12:29 AM
