Friday, July 29, 2005
(Untitled)
oh well. did my chinese file in 2 hours today. surprised. i thought it'll take forever. but managed to finish it in the library. i never knew the library was such a fun place for boring mundane things. i can never really get GOOD work done there (maybe cuz i haven't tried?) but i really shot through the file today. considering it takes up the bulk of my unfiled worksheets. anw. cheryl yap was screaming at some sec 2 crap poser (ryan from 2B) about mistreatment of books and how he'll be banned from the lib until he writes a letter of apology and cuts his horrible mop of hair etc etc for like 5 min. in her 120 decibel voice. in the damn LIBRARY. haha. wrote her a note after that. i hope the librarian passed it to her. it went someting like "i respectfully request that you do not reprimand unruly students at the expense of other library users... do bear in mind that there are other users in the library doing work who might be distracted and disturbed by prolonged loud noise." and some other crap about hopefully the letter won't offend you but i'm believe i'm being a good member of the community by bringing the matter up etc. feels good to get back at unreasonable people. anw it's so terribly ironic. a librarian who shouts at people for behaving badly in a library. and sometimes this behaviour includes noise. and teachers who bring their classes to the library shouting at their students to shut up and stop making so much noise when all the screeching high-decibel crap is coming from them.
ok i have nothing else to say at the moment. might come back later. ciao.
stained with coffee at 8:44 PM
Sunday, July 24, 2005
(Untitled)
On fri after maths seminar mr wong asked me an interesting qn. We were on the bus going towards holland V for dinner with fuzzy wuzzy and yanheng when the talk suddenly drifted to PSLE results (yeah after 4 years we're still thinking about them like wow) and he asked me why my performance these years sucked so much compared to then. Well he actually phrased it quite politely larh but that's the main gist of the qn.
anw it really got me thinking larh. actually it's really been a question just lurking around in the back of my mind that hasn't ever really been addressed (although it really should have been). i guess on one level it really has been my complacency. like. "oh. i'm good. hah." and so there hasn't really been any effort to really push myself to greater heights and thus i'm slowly becoming rather obsolete. man(4) man(4) de(4) bei(4) tao(2) tai(4). well. and maybe that's the root of the problem? of course there are other reasons right. like my inability to remain focused on what's important, the fact that i don't treat work seriously (which really stems from my bloody big ego) etc etc. i might say my choir commitment this year larh. but truth is it hasn't really been a factor until maybe april. which is really sad. cuz i'm getting all hyped up about really taking charge of things in choir now, and now is so close to the end... saddening. if given the chance in rj chorale (i assume i'd be able to make it there) i think i'd like another shot at this exco business. it's fun. like really. too bad i discovered a like for it so late in rv. anw i'm digressing.
poor work attitude really takes its toll on people doesn't it. some people really just don't give a shit about work. but then i don't really want that to happen to me.. maybe its the lack of o's to push me. but i can't always rely on big tests to push me forward. like the choir. we can't always be complacent and just heck care until stuff like competition comes around and we panic and panic. thing is, even when tests come i panic. and most of the time i don't do ANYTHING about it. which is really really bad. i try to resolve every year to start a fresh, to actually be involved. but it seems to collapse every time. i wonder how life will be like in jc. i mean. if i don't treat work seriously now how am i ever gonna survive there? and with the a's summore. maybe the "big exam" mentality will come over me? but i don't think so.. and i'm afraid to rely on it too.. what if i fail then? what if i just panic but don't do anything? maybe being consistent is really very very important even when the focus is on SA rather than CA. maybe i should have realised it earlier. or maybe i should actually have done something about this realisation. i wonder if it's too late now to help my grades this year. it's sad. everyone keeps telling me i have potential if i work hard. i guess i always just let the first part get to my head and just forget about the second part. saddening indeed.
stained with coffee at 9:18 PM
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
trip.
well. back from the trip. i'm not gonna write a long post about it though.
what to say. it was quite fun. Wernigerode is a very nice place. so quiet and calm and peaceful and clean. well mostly clean. there's graffiti but it's um. artful graffiti. not random ugly scribbles. the food could be better. perhaps we should have gotten another place to cater for us. like the hotel. omg the hotel breakfast is like. wow. and then the rest of the food during the day is like. eww. lolx.
the competition was cool. we should have done better larh. but still. commendable. if we hadn't... but it's kinda late for all that isn't it. at least when i look back i don't regret. not that much at any rate. sometimes you just have to learn that you can only do so much, and there are some aspects that you can't control. like how others sing. and so you have to stop wishing they had done better and just accept the fact that that was the best we could do then. yay. anyway an international gold isn't something to be ashamed of. and we even got categor winner and into the finals. the finals owned. yay. i think we really did quite well in it. but the adult choirs are just good. like really really good. i hope the highlights CD comes quickly. i wanna hear and go "wow". lol.
back to school. there's a whole lot of work coming up and a whole lot of tests and we still have arts at the atrium.. so yeah i'm quite busy now (and what am i doing!? i need to get my priorities straight!) and i'm just sleeping odd hours again. oh well. gotta get used to these things i suppose.
stained with coffee at 12:52 AM
