Monday, October 23, 2006
the road to daybreak.
well these couple of weeks have been quite a journey for me. i think i've realised just how much i still have to grow in my faith and in my relationship with God.
i think it really all started with a book i borrowed from jarrod, "the road to daybreak" by henri nouwen, a dutch catholic priest, which i've been reading. it's basically his journal which he wrote during a year's stay in a home for the mentally handicapped in france. so far i've managed to read about 30 pages i think.. it's really thought provoking. the events which he chooses to reflect on and the passages he ponders over have really pointed out to me certain areas of spiritual life which i've overlooked, or even rejected somehow. his book is really very open and sincere, and he speaks a lot about the challlenges which he faces with regards to his own spiritual life. his experiences really speak to me somehow i guess, and point out to me how much i've missed out. from the story of the wealthy man who rejected jesus (which incidentally was the gospel passage a couple of weeks back) to the sincere and innocent actions of the handicapped, they really showed me all about committment to God and to others, about poverty, and really about how hard it is to live for Him sometimes.
well in addition to that, father johnson's sermon yesterday also spoke about the same things, about how total committment to God and to the faith really demands much more than just what i've been doing so far. how many people look for a religion that is all about convenience and benefit but nothing about cost and sacrifice, and how sometimes i've viewed my faith as something like that as well. how it always seems so hard just to give a little more time to God, give a little more to charity, give a little more to others, instead of always asking what God can do for me.
i suppose i've also been a little too selfish, a little too judgemental, a little too proud, a little too full of myself, and thus unable to really live a full spiritual life. well. i guess knowing is one thing, and actually trying to change is another.
stained with coffee at 12:49 PM
