Sunday, August 06, 2006
all the world's a stage angsty.
i never noticed how much angst there is in the world today. and how much angst i really contribute to the global output. like seriously. okay last week was like the peak output of the year for me or something. and maybe some people got put off. i guess i could attribute it to being drained due to lack of sleep, cuz we all know that our silent fortresses and walls and defences that we build around our inner selves just crumble when we can't find the energy to keep them up. well as gerard says it's all a facade. and sometimes you just lack the energy to maintain it. and that's when everything just comes out.
oddly though, it seems that once you've gotten past that stage and built back your walls, all that emotional outburst is just so ridiculous it makes you want to laugh at your total immaturity. seriously, sometimes teenage angst and toddler temper tantrums (whoa what alliteration, and what great literary effects created) just have too much in common.
funny thing is though, even though you know it's silliness, you always somehow end up doing the same things over and over and over again. well i do anyway. and seriously, i think emotional maturity is a long long way from me. and i might need to develop it before i start on the road to anywhere.
anyway, speaking about global output of angst. i was really thinking of how inefficient this makes you. like. you end up spending ages and ages angsting and emo-ing out, and you just get distracted from all the more important things, like CCA, studies, personal development etc. (i don't think writing angst poetry is really a good personal development).
so i was just thinking. maybe i should make that long trek back up the mountain again. and take over whao's residence there (he seems to be moving out anyway). and gain some emotional enlightenment there before climbing back down again.
then maybe when i look back at this, i might actually have something more than just angst to remember.
stained with coffee at 11:42 PM
