Sunday, March 19, 2006
rejoice all the world!
oh wow. the hols are almost over. what great news! no, actually i'm not really being sarcastic here, cuz sadly, holidays are always rather boring for me. i never really do anything during holidays, which is just quite sad. mostly i suppose, i'm just too drained after every term to really drag myself out to do things. or maybe i'm just too used to the routine of going to school that once it's taken away, there doesn't seem to be anything else left that i can do. or maybe it's the fact that i'm perpetually broke during the holidays, so i don't have much money to go out and do stuff. or maybe since i'm so loner and semi-anti-social, i always end up not bothering to drag people out with me.
well anyway, after all that rambling i suppose you can tell that i haven't done much during this holiday. which is true, in a sense. i could say i've spent some time repaying my sleep debt, but i don't suppose that really counts. i haven't been able to finish learning pamugun, unsurprisingly, since i spend most of the time sleeping anyway. haha. okay. this is turning out to be a very boring boring post. on the other hand, i did manage to buy a couple of shirts (thankfully they're not black =D) and had lunch on friday with a couple of old friends, which was really nice, since it really has been quite a while hasn't it.
[sidetrack a litte] i guess one of the problems i have is really keeping in touch with my friends. or not-really-friends. i can't really call them friends, because i get to know them for a while, then drift apart. i always have such an inability to hold on to relationships, for whatever reason, and i end up drifting through life without any real sense of companionship with others. maybe i'm just too tight with myself. maybe i just don't put in enough effort. which really makes me wonder sometimes, why doesn't the other person bother putting in the effort. people just drift in and out of my life, like guests in a hotel, some of them stay longer, some of them less, but they all move out eventually. and it's just. not really frustrating, i guess. cuz i don't seem really bothered by it, mostly, for some reason. but sometimes (like now) i just think about all those people i know who have such active friendships, always going out here or doing that there... and i wonder if i could ever be like that. instead of just sitting at home watching images flash across the tele (how brit is that expression =P) for hours upon hours, drifting off to unconsciousness. what it is like to really have a social life? okay this is getting depressing.
stained with coffee at 7:55 PM
