Tuesday, October 25, 2005
yepp it's that time of the year again, when the CTs come back and the little red numbers come and haunt us. and really, the trend doesn't seem to have changed. it's always disappointment after disappointment. really. and sometimes i just wonder, why do we all allow numbers on a little piece of paper determine what we're worth? not only us, but everyone around us as well. and in the end, getting a higher number seems to make you so superior, like you struck 4D or some shit like that, never mind how you got there, whether you sacrificed your social life, you dissed your friends, whether you lost out on everything else life has to offer.. just for those little red numbers.
and yeah. the only decent number i have today ls 42. which was for physics. and everything else (currently) has just gone to hell. and it really has me reconsidering my course options for next year. i mean, if we're seriously so far away from a decent showing in that subject, is there really a point in taking it for the next two years, at a much higher level than it is now? should i really let the little red numbers dictate the course of my life, or should i just take what i want to, and to hell with the grades? i seriously need divine help here.
which brings me on to next bad point of the day, which was the screwed-up chorale auditions. well, the auditions were fine, i'm the one that's screwed-up. which is sad. i hate looking like someone who doesn't really give a shit about anything. which is the feeling i think i gave today. it kinda reminds me of interviews last year for exco positions, which i really messed up as well. but this time it isn't cuz i don't care(i cared about interviews k. just not really that much), it's just cuz i'm too nervous (always the case) or whatever, and so end of story. anyway its pissifying.
and then during french was the saddest saddest thing. well firstly there's one person left in my class, which is me. cuz i'm the only one doing DELF. and my poor teacher must be wondering "what the hell is he thinking, taking DELF? he might as well go spend the $65 on something else more worthwhile, like french tuition or some shit." well basically we had (well fine, i had) a trial of the paper. and i'm like wtf. ok so the listening comprehension and the written compre is still okay, cuz i can guess a little and lift the rest from the passage. can't say much about the listening cuz it was the teacher reading and not the tape and i think the teacher was reading quite slowly. anw. oral is like some bomb shit, and i think i'm gonna totally screw it up. which i did today larh. of course. role-playing. like wtf. and then there's the 3-minute give-your-opinion speech thing. which is basically french version of the zuo wen, just spoken. and you have 10 min to prep. i think i'm screwed. seriously. and yep. the $65 should have gone elsewhere.
and now, thanx to mdm wei ling's bomb load of tian2 xie3 han4 zi4, i realise that i have forgotten most of my chinese words. when the o's are next monday. i'm f***ed. really f***ed.
anw, xavier's blog is really stress-reliever. well. just a quote. "... i will lmao into ur face." try and imagine that rear being shoved into your face. unthinkable. disgusting. unthinkably disgusting. but really. if it happens to someone i think i'll end up laughing.
well, everyone's a little sadistic sometimes.
stained with coffee at 10:29 PM
