Monday, September 26, 2005
3 months.
hmmm. i believe i saw the nicely-built cat today. i must say it was quite nicely built. not scrawny or anything. cute. quite friendly too. it didn't freak out and start running away from me the way cats do. or maybe it just ate or something so it was feeling too tired to bother. anw i don't think i exhibited any hostile intentions towards it.
physix mag ship was crazy. finished the report like. 330 yesterday. quite bomb. i feel satisfied yet unsatisfied. satisfied that i haven't lost my touch with last-minute late night assignment fragging, unsatisfied that i could have actually put a little more effort into it instead of doing last-minute late-night assignment fragging.
today was my second-last choir practice of the year with RV. was quite normal, didn't think much about it. but now, it seems quite sad. i mean. after 4 years (well 3 actually, sec 1 doesn't count) it really seems like a chapter of my life is just going to close like that. and i just wish it didn't seem so full of unfinished business, so much regret.. there's just seems to be too much that i wasn't able to do, too much that should have been done but wasn't.. but then in life we always have to compromise, don't we? we always have to sacrifice some commitments for others.. and in the end you realise that you just have to reconcile yourself to these. after 4 years, and there's just 1 practice left. i wonder whether i have left anything behind, anything good that other people will remember me for. and i wonder if i have ever left a lasting impact on anyone.
the same goes for secondary school life.. in 3 months the inexorable advancement of time will just shut the door on it, leaving me to peek through the key-hole, to reminisce about the things that i did or did not do.. just three months left, and a chapter that is in an even more terrible state than the other would be closed. what can i do in three months to lessen my anguish and feeling of regret?
perhaps i shouldn't think about it that way. after all, shouldn't we look forward, into the new corridor which we have entered into, instead of always trying to go back to where we came from? it's a whole new chapter to write, a blank page, pristine and white, just waiting for an eager author to cover it with his experiences.
but that's just so far away..
stained with coffee at 10:40 PM
